The Bottom Fell Out

The beginning of a New Year can bring about hope, excitement and anticipation for renewal – something new and better then the year before.   Along with that though there could be a noticeable or slight undertone of anxiety and fear. Memories of broken resolutions and promises to yourself or un-accomplished goals bubble to the surface causing to question or lose faith and hope.

I myself started this year feeling anxious – fear about money, my business, the what ifs and an overall sense that I was holding my breath praying for the right sign or signs that everything would be ok.   Honestly I just wasn’t feeling the whole New Year thing.   I wanted to “excited” – after all I know that my feelings were what would contribute to what I was creating – but I was struggling to get to that place.

Then something magical happened – magical and funny.   The bottom fell out.

Yep, the bottom.  Bottom of what?

Well, under the luminous watchful eye of the Full Moon I was burning the New Year Despacho * that my beloved and I had made on the beach New Year’s Day.    I quietly sat and watched the Despacho burn.  As I watched the Despacho burn the bottom of my fire pit slowly started to fall.  As I think back on it, it was pretty funny.

The rusted bottom of the fire pit just slowly started to give way and as I watched it I felt like all my breath was being released and I was just sinking to the bottom.  It was a very peaceful and calm feeling.  I wondered if this it what it felt like to surrender to drowning after you let out your last breath.  I know that sounds awful but in that moment I felt such a feeling of calm.   A surrender to everything  – a letting go.Bottom

“Just let go.”  was the voice I heard within me.  Everything within my being become quiet and I “watched” myself float inward to the quiet depths of my being.  That’s when I knew that it was OK if I didn’t set all those goals and resolutions.  It was also ok if I wasn’t feeling the whole New Years thing or feeling geared up and excited about the future.  That’s when I knew that no matter what if I just let go everything would be okay.

So tomorrow when I wake up I am not going to worry about 2015.  I am just going to let the day unfold and be right there with it.

Present in the moment and letting go of the future.  

So, my dear ones, that’s the New Year’s Blessing I give to you.  JUST LET GO!  Take that one deep big breath in and release it.  Let yourself sink down into the quiet of your inner self.  Give your self permission to not make all those resolutions and goals.  What ever you do or don’t do,   … it’s going be OK.

* (Despacho is a powerful traditional Peruvian prayer bundle for healing and change.)

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